Some of you who are reading this may think that my situation is not as bad as I project it to be. If that is your conclusion, let me help to convince you otherwise.
In my concentration and devotion to writing this article, I accidentally lifted my cup at a wrong angle and delivered the contents unto my shirt. If you think that’s not dreadful enough, I happen to be in public.
Today, before I left home to accomplish some things in town, I achieved something that had been on my bucket list for quite a long time. I learned to split! Sadly, I did not learn in the way that most do.
As I came out of the bathroom, I heard my phone ringing. I darted towards my room. Suddenly, I was intercepted by a watery substance on the floor. The leg before gave out on me and soon the leg behind succumbed to the pressure and gave up the ghost as well. There you have it; the perfect way to split. After that ordeal I practically wobbled to a taxi, wincing as I went.
To cut a terrible day short, I went to a restaurant feeling like a woman in her 80’s and I was definitely treated like one. I got a seat that was graciously offered to me by a young man my age and I got many sympathetic stares and smiles. One goodly gentleman asked me if I was suffering from some ailment in my feet, another lady asked if I needed help to move around. I respectfully declined.
I won’t tell you of my experiences through the years, but I will tell you that not one day passes without some interesting occurrence.
Many people say they have interesting lives, probably not as interesting as mine.
My expertise in the field could easily make me the president of CLUMSINESS. I have gone thus far to embarrass my self, It won’t hurt to tell you another story.
Yesterday, I was at a gathering with family and friends and other guests. I was secretly hoping that everything would go smoothly. Afterall, my parents had some very distinguished persons over. Everything was going well until the peak of the night. My mother was telling some very interesting stories that gave the people the ‘oos’ and the ‘ahs’. My mom pointed to dad, giving him the eye that meant ‘ You tell some stories now’.
Much to my dismay, but the appreciation of his listeners, my father started to tell a story from my childhood. (I will not repeat it)
In my haste to get away from all the laughing, I excused myself and started for the kitchen. Instantly, I gave the audience a live example of my many accidents. I didn’t realize an object on the floor and I fell head first. All the chatter stopped and I quickly scrambled to get up. Rushing from the scene, I diverted and went towards my room. As I was going up the stairs, one of the guests stopped me and told me to pull my dress down.
Now I finally knew why I felt cool air at the back. (sobs)
And just think, my dress was up all along…
That’s enough now. I have finally given you much to laugh about. I’ll be closing my computer now, I need to go back into seclusion to lick my wounds.