Every field has their own unique vocabulary. Doctors don’t call them bruises. They are contusions. Lawyers refer to retainers. We know them as expensive, down payments for secured services.
We luxury ‘connoisseurs’ (self appointed experts) have our own vocabulary as well. And, like Doctors and Lawyers, we like to keep the common folk impressed with our eduction and expertise by keeping them wondering what we really mean, when we ‘articulate’ (speak). So here’s a short guide for all you luxury “newbies” as I was once called to my face at an antiques auction, complete with an interpretation for the, as of yet, uninitiated.
* Accessories (a thing added to something else to make it more attractive) The small, seemingly insignificant items purchased for your home or placed on your person, that makes the large, seemingly significant items purchased for your home or placed on your person justifiable
* Chic (stylish and elegant) In pronunciation, quite clear and European elegant. In print, very unsettling: “That great looking chick, looked quite chic.” Adjectives include: Chicer and Chicest to further confuse
* Couture (designed to a client’s specific requirements) When the unlimited, fathomless amounts of available products are not enough to choose from, you can purchase hand-crafted and commissioned personalized items–for a slight fee
* Discriminating (cultured and discerning) As in: “I only pay top dollar for any and every purchase because I have discriminating tastes.”
* Eclectic (broad and diverse taste and style) A wardrobe or home decorating; that gives one the impression that you are either uninhibited and possess broad tastes–or–you are schizophrenic
* Extraordinaire (uncommon, remarkable) Very cool. See: Luxe
* Green (renewable, sustainable resources) Something that grows quickly and abundantly, or something that is pre-owned which projects an unsettling sense that society is taking a step backward rather than forward
* Haute (fashionably elegant, or high class) As in: That cashmere sweater must be hot, yet it makes you look so haute
* Luxe (luxury) A fun way of spelling an otherwise understandable word, to confuse and delight ‘newbies’
* Oenophile (a connoisseur of wines) A sophisticated alcoholic
* Patina (the authentic, or simulated look of age on a surface color) As in: Grandma’s wrinkles give her a nice patina
* Studio (a small apartment) An absurdly small room that serves as one’s foyer, living, dining, kitchen, bedroom, and office
* Timeless (not affected by the passage of time or changes in fashion) Whim proofing yourself from the ‘experts’
* Vogue (prevailing style or fashion at a given time) As in: You can rest assured this high-end suit or foyer console will be in vogue for at least another 15 minutes
Just having fun, folks. I hope I made you smile today. Life is short, we must not take ourselves too seriously. The important things are what really matter. Learn to laugh at yourself–all the way to the top.